I felt like a terrible mother, and that it was just going to be this way forever until something externally changed for me. But nothing had. Not even my clothes. I was still wearing my maternity clothes. Lol.
Actually, I gained more power. I felt more power. I felt that I had finally transitioned into what I WANTED to have as a mother and what I wanted to BE as a mother. Not the apron wearing hag with tuckshop arms and whispy hair who spent most of the day hiding in the pantry guzzling chocolate
I was a WOMAN and I understood what my place in the world was.
No longer was I afraid of exercise, I learned to LOVE it (not in that positive talk convince yourself to love exercise way, but in a deep lust for the freedom of movement and expression that all out lung busting exercise can have).
No longer was I afraid of my kids, I learned to be the QUEEN in my family, not the SLAVE. My kids love me more now and my husband can't get enough of me (he literally showers me with gifts and praise every day now.)
No longer was I afraid of my body. I wear bikinis now (and even got asked to do a photo shoot for VEVE swimwear. Yes, the swimwear designers that put bikinis on Crystal Hefner, Stephanie Rice, Ellie Gonsalves and Sheridyn Fisher).
No longer was I afraid of my stretch marks. I LOVE them now (and millions of FB shares agree with me that stretch marks are a symbol of the sacrifice I made for my beautiful, perfect children. Thank you if you are one of the people who commented!)
No longer was I afraid of anything really, I had grown up (I know it sounds purile, but from the messages I get about FITmum, so many of you agree that you feel like a girl, stuck in a middle aged woman's body, with no support and a TON of pressure!)